he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
