Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Farmville is her only friend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
