Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
