We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
