thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
