trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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