Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
