New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
