I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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