We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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