I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
