did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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