no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize