Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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