Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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