me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I smell like Dick and happiness
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