so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
