My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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