i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
