if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't deserve a penis
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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