Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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