i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize