areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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