The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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