You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
