just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
