Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
