we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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