I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
