I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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