i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize