: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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