i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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