we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
