I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
