You work out of a Hotel?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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