Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
