you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
