The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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