I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
