And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I only lived at night.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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