When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
