I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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