bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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