So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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