This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drake has all the answers
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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