sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She said her name was "party"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
