i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
