That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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