she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize