I puked a lego.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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