kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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