I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
