I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
