But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
