if i died would you start the facebook group?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
